Eurogroup steal Noonan’s lunch, leave him with black eye

By Eoin Molloy

Noonan eye

European politics is known for its impassioned debate and stirring speeches. Finance Minister Michael Noonan ended up on the wrong side of that passion following a Eurogroup meeting of all EU finance ministers in Brussels.

Minster Noonan appeared before the press sporting a shiner that would make Johnny Sexton wince.

It was later revealed by Associated Press that Michael Noonan received a bit of a rough-housing from German finance minster, Wolfgang Schauble, after he asked for a write-down on Ireland’s colossus of debt.

According to sources, Minister Noonan was given a wedgie and several Chinese burns before receiving a headbutt to the eye.

Minister Schauble then proceeded to eat Mr Noonan’s packed ham sandwiches in front of him while chanting: ‘Deutschland Uber Alles’.

Ireland will now proceed with the original debt repayments as planned.

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