By Eoin Molloy
In the past few years, online media has witnessed the entry of a new form of journalism: the listicle (cue dramatic music). It is about time we hear at TAB Magazine capitalised on this all-consuming, hard-hitting system of writing. So in the style of Buzzfeed, The Daily Edge and Elite Daily here is the list you simply have to read today, lol.
Disclaimer: this is definitely not clickbait.
Top five ways you know that you are Irish citizen
- You have an Irish passport. It’s maroon-brown in colour and it has your name on it. OMG, totes relatable right? I have one too! Lol.
- Immersions! Haha, I know right? Doesn’t your Irish mammy hate when you leave your big Irish immersion on wasting all of that Irish electricity and consequently, that Irish money. Totes dying here, this is all just too Irish for me ha ha!
- You have heard of/seen the spire. It’s so big and pointless (lol geddit, because it’s actually quite pointy!). Hehe, we’re such messers us Irish people, with our publicly-financed phallic/illuminati architecture. You’re simply not Irish unless you have a friend who’s been impaled on the spire.
- Alcoholic beverages. We Irish are ‘sauce-hounds’, ‘beer-merchants’ and all sorts of other alcohol-related self-referential euphemisms. We love reminding ourselves that we have a nation-wide dependence on a dangerous and addictive drug. Go us!
- I’m all out of ideas. (Enter gif about my inability ‘to even’ here)