First year biomed student ‘honestly didn’t even want to study medicine’

By Eoin Molloy


Dietrich O’ Loughlin, originally from Kinsale, recently opened up to TAB in an interview about biomedical science at NUI Galway.

The interview was intended to function as a happy-go-lucky profile for prospective students to encourage them to take the course, but it took a turn for the worse when O’ Loughlin began sobbing uncontrollably.

‘I honestly didn’t even want to study medicine,’ he said through sobs, even though we didn’t ask him a question remotely pertaining to medicine.

‘It’s not like my parents put any pressure on me or anything,’ he continued wheezily, ‘it’s not like I spent thousands of euros on revision courses and private colleges to get into medicine, or that I spent nineteen hours a day studying.’

Mr O’ Loughlin continued to cry loudly for the rest of the interview, occasionally muttering disconnected, confusing phrases like ‘5 points off’, ‘stupid B1 in honours geography’ and ‘fecking HPAT’.

When asked how biomedical science actually was as a course Mr O’ Loughlin informed us sarcastically that it was a ‘million miles better than medicine’  and that he is so enthusiastic about his new chosen path that he will be setting up a society called ‘Biomed Students who Honestly Didn’t even Want to do Medicine, Honestly’. Their first meeting will be held next Tuesday at 9pm in the College Bar.


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