By Eoin Molloy
At a press conference held last night inside Dublin Castle, a Department of Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation spokesperson announced that an American Company, Socrates Ltd, will be creating 400 new jobs at their brand new, state-of-the-art philosophy factory in Tramore, Co Waterford.
Finally the popular question of ‘what are you going to do with that philosophy degree?’ has an answer.
Socrates Ltd made an announcement on their website yesterday stating that they will be hiring NUI Galway Arts graduates only, giving special preference to students who achieved less than a 2:1 score in philosophy because getting good grades is ‘totally fascist, man’.
Attendance at work will be optional for the 400 new professional philosophers. Their duties will include pondering the great questions of the universe, getting to the bottom of society’s fundamental problems and shuffling around the office in their pyjamas.
It is thought that the points requirements for NUI Galway’s Arts programme will skyrocket before next September, leapfrogging commerce, civil law and medicine, showing how fickle the jobs environment actually is in this country.